imagine warped tour except in winter and instead of stages they do bonfires and all the bands do acoustic campfire renditions of their songs and everybody crowds around to get warm and all the merch is like sweaters and ski hats and there’s hot chocolate and snow and stuff
Paul Walker — best known for his role in “The Fast and the Furious" movies — died Saturday afternoon after a single-car accident and explosion in Southern California … TMZ has learned.
The accident happened in Santa Clarita — north of Los Angeles — and according to multiple sources connected to Paul … the actor was in a Porsche when the driver somehow lost control and slammed into a post or a tree … and then the car burst into flames.
Several of our sources — some who are still at the scene of the accident — tell us Paul and another person in the car were killed. Law enforcement is still on the scene, and we’re told the L.A. County Coroner’s Office is on the way.
Being that this is info from TMZ, we’re waiting to see more confirmation, but obviously we’re watching for more info.
EDIT: A few people have pointed out this link, but I can’t independently confirm it because the site’s down. Jalopnik has a press release on there being a crash, but names have not been released.
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring.